God was Murdered

Oh my Oh my. Me been in California…….two surreal weeks. First thing I learnt is no one gives a fuck, like no one. Even if you’re drop-dead gorgeous like Marilyn or burning-rich like Zuckerberg. This place is filled with rich, good-looking people. Everybody is trying to find the missing pieces of themselves. The Special-One. Most find “Some-One”. Yeah, even if you’re young, fantabulous, got the dream job & live in the heart of breath-taking California. Finding The One is rare. Marvellous California had made me forget everything about my homeland. All the crap, unsavoury things we girls have to face each moment of our lives. All the ugly penis-showing-peeing-on-the-walls, gutka-spitting, MC-BC-abusing & proud crotch-fondlers. All the fat aunties blocking escalators, snob kids having food fights at Chilis, pot-bellied morons shouting on cellphones in theatres & boys saying ‘I love you’ so they can fuck me. But my beautiful dream was abducted & replaced by the all...

Till a week ago I had not travelled abroad (Nepal doesn’t count you know). That changed at supersonic speed. Now I’ve been to Australia (read: Ausometralia) & The Big USA. I write this as I sip my lovely hot chocolate at Pälládium Café, downtown California, L.A. Yeah baby. Exactly seven days ago I landed in Melbourne. As instructed by Samaira, I caught the Airport to City Skybus. Cheap: $18. After that I took the shimmering tram to the legendary rustic Flinders Street station & hopped on the Pakenham line train, got down at Caulfield station. And there she was. First true love of my life. My heart skipped a beat (I knew it’ll). Five & a half years I hadn’t seen her. I gave her the hug of a wrestler. I felt the current rush through me. ‘My bridesmaid is here,’ she squeezed me harder. ‘I’m sorry, Ash I broke our solemn oath of “Being Sluts forever”’ she said still holding me tight. ‘You fell in love, Sam,’ I crooned. She slowly let go of me, grabbed my arm & c...