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11 Rules to Become a Great Writer

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I don’t know — Who you are? You could be a Wife Beater or Baby Eater or worse than K u K lux K lan — W hite W oke W oman.  But now that you’ve unwittingly walked into my House of Words , I must regale you with my pseudo-wit & cunty charm. Caveat : When you’re done swallowing my words, you will feel worse than you do on Day 2 of your period or after getting whipped in the balls by a girl on Day 2 of her period. Alright! Let the bloodshed begin. I don’t know — If you want to be dead [Franz Kafka] before you become famous — If you want to write a novel about your dead girlfriend [Ravinder Singh] & make a sweet million     — If you want to write an immortal novel [Wuthering Heights] at 29 & be dead at 30 [Emily Brontë] — Whatever it is that you want to be, just don’t go at it half-assed. Go d ogle gives you — About 61,90,00,000 results (0.50 seconds) — if you type  — How to Become a Better Writer? — But what the heck, here are my 11 W hite W oke W oman- un approved rules