God was Murdered

From the time we are born, we are fed milk & lies. Bottles of milk & Buckets of lies. 1. All humans are born equal [this punk philosopher never set foot in India - even identical twins born in the same family aren’t equal] 2. Respect & never hit a Woman [Why aren’t we taught not to hit another human - regardless of their gender] 3. Everyone has a talent [that’s why only one Indian {out of billions that have lived} has won an Olympic Gold ever in 121 years. And Michael Phelps alone has won 23 Golds.] 4. Child’s love is unconditional [If the mother stops feeding the baby, will the baby love her?] 5. There is God [He must be white, prude & misogynist] 6. Sex is bad [That’s why it feels so good and everyone is born out of it] 7. Someone is made for everyone. He/she is out there waiting to cross your path. [Contrarily, I’ve found that hardly anyone falls in love, but almost everyone falls into marriage.] Everybody is too scared to be alone after ...

Thunders are blasting; souls are stoned Winters are feisty, foreboding a snowstorm Heart’s lonely; heart’s lovelorn It feels frosty, it feels torn Even when heart is free-falling without gravity, in it, floats hope it made friends with serendipity; it heaves and beats raising ocean’s shore Levitating above the endless jetty, it knows dreams are reality waiting to be born it knows you will one day appear from the mystical skies it knows we’ll meet before lord declares it is time to say goodbye it has seen what’s written in karma’s ink, it knows you and I are destined it has read our stories beyond the threshold of death, eclipsing the highs of crystal meth it knows, on the other end of nightmares & failings there’s someone who’s holding a promise ring someone who’s never forgotten, who’s always missed someone whose lips will liberate the fabled rare kiss it knows our moment hasn’t arrived & won’t be here in a blink so it’s ready to fight...

Every time Vivian Richards walked onto the field to bat, it didn’t matter if the score was 300 for 2 wickets down or 2 runs for 3 wickets down, the bowler, no matter how great, was always under pressure. Richards & Windies dominated the cricket world through the 70s & 80s before their empire began to collapse in early 90s. By the mid-90s, Australia, under skipper Steve Waugh, started a juggernaut & for the next decade annihilated everyone. I wasn’t born or was too young to witness the Windies’ aura & fierce dominance, but I was bloody lucky to witness Australia murder the mortals & tame immortals [Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar & Brian Charles Lara]. In the middle of the Australian magical spell, I happened to move to Oz as a teenager. At that stage, I was more patriotic {towards India} than a Nazi soldier {towards Hitler} in the middle of World War 2. In the mid-90s, India had its greatest superstars playing together that included Tendulkar, Dravid, Ganguly, Laxm...

Of all the days, on 1st April - the fools day, I met someone for the first time & she totally killed me. That morning, I hadn’t the faintest clue that I will meet & spend the day with someone, who will make me believe in miracles, but it happened. Serendipity.   That was 2005.  In the 12 years that have rolled by, I’ve rarely met someone who totally smashed me & made me realize how bloody lucky I’m to born in the magnificent world.  On 1st {another 1st} November 2017, I got real lucky.  I woke leisurely as I didn’t have to go to work. I’m the weirdo who doesn’t go to work on Wednesdays. After gulping down tons of white herbal tea & reading the newspapers, I ran for 33 minutes then ate dried nuts, sunny-side up eggs & watched the comedy - Veep. Then it was time to go teach underprivileged kids in the slums of Majnu ka Tila {New Delhi}. This was my first day with an altruistic organization run by a bunch of gold-hearted youngst...

P.S. The writer - Aashima Talwar, 27, - is a vicious, vitriolic-mouthed, non-violent vegan; often monikered ‘cunt’ - a freak street kickboxer, a beauty pageant 3rd runners-up, a failed actress, whose film never released. Now, she lives off her wedding money {$123k}, which she convinced her father to donate to her after she crushed his heart by saying ‘I’m never getting married, dad.'   Aashima wrote this letter in Kabul sometime past midnight - in the day, she was lifting dead bodies & assisting the still alive people after a suicide bomber attack, a staple delicacy of Afghanistan. I present to you her letter, with zero censorship: “Ninety-seven days I’ve been in Afghanistan. On all my clothes, I’ve blood marks of people, including infants, who are now dead because of some fallacious belief that killing these random humans will make Allah ecstatic. Twice, I’ve been shot at, mistakenly, and once I’ve been smashed into a wall, deliberately. I’m scared. I’ve brui...

After working with Fortune 500 firms that employ 10,000-odd people [or ‘resources’ as they prefer calling humans], I’m now with a firm that employs 10-odd people [implied ‘naukars’]. Here, everyone addresses the ‘director & owner’ of the firm as ‘Sir.’ I blasphemously break the norm by addressing him by first name. Whenever I’ve asked anyone why don’t they call him by his real name. They unanimously answer: We call him Sir to show Respect.

Let’s go all the way back to the origins of the word Respect [in my life] My earliest recollection is at age 5. My mother gently told me off when I pounced on Coke [Coca Cola not Cocaine] instead of pouncing on my maternal grandfather’s feet for customary aashirwad when I entered his house. Touching my grandfather’s feet or calling someone ‘Sir’ has nothing to do with respect. The same way a girl’s love for ‘breaking the bed during intimacy’ has nothing to do with the burqa or skimpy dress she chooses to wear. But I was five, and I belie...

1981. I was born. I’m part of a generation, who saw too much. When I began my teenage years [1994], no one had heard of the internet; by the time I finished my teens [2000], internet had become as common as americans smoking hash in rishikesh. Turn of the millennium wasn’t merely symbolic, it was revolutionary as pre-marital coitus. A word that took birth in the dainty, cold-as-Miss Havisham, Finland, became the word that was engraved on a plastic device we all started carrying in our pockets & purses. Nokia. For seven back-to-back years, Nokia was the word of the year alongside Mum & Eminem. In 2007, a fruit was reborn in an alternative avatar. Apple that calls. A month ago {12 Sept ’17}, it gave birth to its first ever twins -  iPlague 8 & X Since 1994, we, humans, have progressed at the speed of light on cocaine. We no longer burn our precious time standing in queues to pay bills or buy flowers; we shop online & order in...