Udta Punjab
While growing up in the 90s I was addicted to Hindi films like Punjab is to smoking-&-snorting-up. A lot of them starred Mr Shahrukh Khan. I admired the man so much that I walked the streets of Melbourne wearing two sweaters after his film – Mohabbatein released. I looked nothing like my idol – I embarrassed the birds, blondes and the border-jumping Bangladeshis alike. I didn’t give a damn. I was in love with a man. And mark my words – you’ve not lived if you’ve not fallen in love with the same gender without wanting to bang them. I could never have imagined that a decade and a half later I will cringe at every film Mr Khan does and be totally dying to bang him, I mean his head-into-a-wall. Somewhere in the 21 st century he lost his balls, sold his soul and became a prostitute of fame & box office. He’s arguably the most gifted spineless actor of the last quarter century. Sometimes I feel like going to his kitschy house with a graffiti spray and print – Loser