Roger Federer — GOAT is Dead!
Summer 1989 — I fell in love with Gabriela goddess Sabatini. It’s really gotta be a criminal offence to be that killer of a tennis player with looks that can give 99-year-old Pope a hard-on. July 6 th , 1991 — first heartbreak Steffi Graf beat Gabriela Sabatini 6-4, 3-6, 8-6 to win the greatest tennis grand slam — Wimbledon. July 7 th , 1991 — lightning quick rebound love — Michael Stich Michael Stich beat Boris Becker — 6–4, 7–6, 6–4 to win Wimbledon. Over the next decade [1991-2000], when billion desis were exclusively married to Tendulkar, I was slutting harder than Drãupadi —— Sabätini, Stiḉh, Séles, Agāssi, Ivanišević, Kournikõvå, Bȇcker — one date for each day of the week & pretty unabashedly bi-sexual. As the 20 th century died, 7-time Wimbledon Champions — Steffi Graf & Pete Sampras’ dominance died too. This made me super happy as Sampras was a bore with the personality of a virgin vatican nun & Graf achieved greatness because Günter motherfuckin Pārche [Graf’s