Who Are ‘You’

‘I’m the Lead Project Manager at Goldman Sachs’

That’s what my distant cousin Ritesh said glowingly when I asked ‘You are?’ moments after I met him for the first time at a family wedding.

As a custom, adults misunderstand this two-word question. They always respond by stating what ‘job’ they do. And more prestigious the job they possess, the more happy they are to answer this question.

His job isn’t who Ritesh is. The job is something that pays for things that shouldn’t be a part of any free human’s life in the first place.

Job pays for

1. clothes & brick houses [no species barring the modern homo sapiens wears clothes or lives in unnatural houses]

2. lactogen milk powder [our mom’s breasts have enough milk to keep us alive & happy], 

3. education [that teaches to restrict our natural creativity]

4. donation to worship places [so the God who magically created all of us punks needs money & that too goddamn Indian rupees. Ha!], 

5. fat weddings [to waste food & bind two human beings into a pact that’s the most unnatural, which consequently destroys their individuality], 

6. birthing & raising kids [so we can continue the cycle & keep our last name & patriarchy alive - an outright narcissistic obsession]

Have you ever seen a bird? I know you have. I have. Several times. And every time I look him in the eye, I see - unmistakably - he has none of the trash that fills the modern human heart. He has no jealousy, no insecurity, no fear of old age, no judgment. The googly-eyed naked bird with zero Insta followers really doesn’t give a flying fuck if no-one likes him.

He just wants to live & has no intention of harming anyone if he doesn’t have to. He isn’t polluting the world. He isn’t telling his children that they’re Muslim or Christian. He isn’t worried about caste or colour. And most of all, he doesn’t believe in the fictional superstar - The God.

He is who he is. If you’re nice to him, he will be nice to you. He will never judge you for the hot pants you’re wearing, never give a damn about your money or short height or wrinkles or house or shoes or receding hairline or small or perky boobs or speech impediment or wheelchair or lack of confidence or gender. 

But as humans we do all of that yet we somehow are delusional to believe we’re better than every other goddamn species.

Go figure. 

Everything about modern humans is derived & given by people who themselves are following everything that’s passed on from ancestors. Our name, religion, caste, morality, nationality, class, career are pre-decided. We choose nothing. Like Wai Wai noodles are ready-to-eat, from the moment of our birth, we’re custom-created-for-sureshot-defeat. By pre-deciding our identities, we defeat the purpose of our existence. We insult human intelligence by believing in God who’s so cruel that he’s alright with millions of people dying of hunger. We defeat our objectivity by becoming nationalists & supporting the country of our birth instead of what is right. 

When I ask Who ‘You Are’, I’m not asking what job you do. And You’re not someone’s girlfriend/boyfriend, You’re not Indian or Australian, You’re not an Engineer or Architect, You’re not someone’s mom/sister/brother/father.

You’re a soul living in flesh & blood. 

What I’m asking is who the hell are you & what does it feel when you forget everything that was taught to you by your parents, babas, pundits, society, school, television, workplace.

Ever ask a one-year-old, ‘Who Are You’ & she will just shrug & get on with her life of ‘exploring.’

As a child, we’re always exploring. That’s why we try to touch & put our fingers in everything we can [even the hot tea & switch boards] - put everything in our mouth [I ate mud & soap when I was one & I’ve still never tasted anything better] - stare at everything [including blank walls & sleeping cows] for several minutes. We’re exploring & trying to figure out - ‘What the Fuck are We Doing Here.’

But the moment, we start walking & speaking, the wiser ‘older’ humans begin destructing our ‘explorative instincts’ & making us what they believe will make us ‘likeable’ [girls] & get us the ‘highest paying jobs’ [boys]

I’m sick of hearing adults asking four-year-olds what they want to be when they grow up. But what I truly hate [yes, hate] is when I hear those four-year-olds respond something like ‘I want to be a businessman like my father’ or ‘I want to be a doctor & save the world.’ Oh that rubbish sickens me. 

Because any four-year-old who isn’t corrupted by ‘older’ humans would answer something like this - ‘hey! what do I know what’s gonna happen in 20 years, because I live in the moment & if you older humans are really all that intelligent & awesome then why can’t you do any of the simple stuff like walking on the wall like lizards, flying around like the birds & treating me as your equal like the dogs do.’

When someone asks me ‘Who am I?’ I often say ‘I’m nothing’ This response throws them off. They think either I’m trying to be a smartass, or my job isn’t cool enough to be talked about. But, I tell you this, I’m being frank. I’m nothing. 

Like a one-year-old kid, I’m nothing. And I wanna stay that way because there’s beauty in that nothingness. I’m sick of telling people what job I do & hearing what job they do. Adults & their questions & expectations are tiring. 

I just want to sit with a one-year-kid on the earth with our backs against a banyan tree & watch the squirrels run around & eat. They eat funny. Then both my one-year-old friend & I can giggle like idiots as we stuff our faces with mud & lolli-pops.