“Political Correctness” is the “New Religion”

3.47 am - 9th January 2001, Footscray Hospital, Melbourne

“You should be fucking dead right now” The 6 feet 2, almost 40-year-old policeman roared scathingly. “Do you have any goddamn clue what you’re doing with your life, son?”

“Totally clueless, sir” That’s what I wanted to say; instead I, judiciously, decided to keep my ‘pie hole’ shut.

Earlier that evening, three of us [Naveen bhaiya, Madu/Gittu {Abhishek}, & I] had driven to a pub in Footscray. Naveen was already drunk when we entered the pub at about 7 or 8 pm. And by the time we left the pub at circa 2.30 am, he was [Cops later informed us that Naveen was 8 times over the permissible limit of 0.05 BAC] drunk out of his mind. I didn’t know how to drive, so I asked Abhishek to take the wheel, but Naveen insisted that he’ll drive. Abhishek was a natural ‘push over’ & I too gave in without much of a protest. Cut to the chase, within 5 seconds of getting off the blocks, the car overturned & then dragged across the road at 65 km/hour for about 5 seconds before coming to a halt when it smashed into a solid-metal parking pillar. Rather miraculously, we all survived with minor injuries. The car, on the contrary, was later sold to a junkyard for $500 [Original price: $21000]

People often ask me “what’s been the most life-changing ‘moment’ in your life.” I always say it was those ‘94 days’ when I was with this amazing woman who made me realise that love stories that we see on celluloid can happen to real, mediocre humans like me. But, if I were to pick ‘one moment’ that has influenced me & my choices in life, it has got to be that moment when the pissed off Policeman barked at me “You should be fucking dead right now.”

When it happened, I recognised he was upset because I did something stupid - letting Naveen drive in his smashed drunk state. His harsh words didn’t make me feel bad as even with my low levels of intelligence, I knew I totally deserved it.

But, it’s only much later I realised that he was furiously upset with a 19-year-old, skinny, brown, good-for-nothing teenager when he could’ve just not given a damn & gone about his standard police business without making it personal - but he did. He did because he gave a shit about me. He was spot on that we were so fucking lucky not to be dead.

It’s been almost 18 years since that day, and I have never, whenever possible, made the mistake of letting someone else put my life in ‘grave danger.’

What he said to me were unfiltered words - they weren’t politically correct - they were dead honest. And I, inadvertently, became honest as fuck over the coming years. Ever since I can recall, I’ve called a spade a spade. I call out racists [I even call my mother racist], I call fat people fat,  narcissists, narcissists - sissies, sissies - dumbcunts, dumbcunts - you catch my drift. Most humans don’t like me much {au contraire, animals [squirrels, crocodiles…] are cool with me} given my coarse demeanour and emphasis on truth instead of likability.

What if that man had been ‘Politically Correct’ with me - given that he was ‘White & Older’ I was ‘Brown & Younger’. He could have toed the line & said “It’s great that you’re alright, Mr. Bist. Be careful in future & remember to value your life. Goodnight!” Instead, he gave me a piece of his mind - unadulterated. And I love that man for doing that. He altered the course of my life. He showed me the beauty of rawness. As a policeman, he must have seen brutal, grotesque accidents - mangled bodies, torn limbs, dead babies - yeah - dead babies. He was sick of it. When he got to know that we [Abhishek & I] let Naveen drive the car & placed our lives in grave danger, he just lost his head at our inexplicable stupidity.

I, subconsciously, owe my evolution to him.

In 2018, there’s so much pressure to be politically correct that the only way I can avoid offending someone is by following the example of former PM Manmohan Singh & refuse to speak, ever - but stunningly, even that ends up offending people.

Let’s get one thing straight - it’s not about my dislike towards PC vs. the PC advocates, it’s about society becoming an avalanche of super-sensitive sissies & most importantly - PC doesn’t work. It doesn’t serve the intended purpose of creating a more inclusive society.

In fact, PC has taken the world backward. Greatest Case in Point: Trump’s election as the President of the United States was partially due to the Backlash against PC. Well done, PC for fucking the world in the buttocks. Ha!

PC is uncannily similar to Communism which looks surreal in writing but in practice, it’s more ineffective than those Church/Hindu Baba medicines that claim to cure homosexuality.

I was listening to English comedian/activist/writer Stephen Fry [who’s also gay] talk about how Political Correctness isn’t correct. One of the things he said resonates with me [and it’s goddamn true]: 

“I believe one of the greatest human failings is to prefer to be right than be effective.” He went on to say, “It doesn’t matter what people call each other [curry, white, dimwit, bitch, Pom, yellow, douchebag, sissy], what matters is how we treat each other.”

I’ve been re-visiting his wisdom-filled words & I keep feeling how bloody simple that is. And yet, billions of us are failing at the most simple aspects that can make life eternally beautiful. And that’s why I know that we, as humans, have failed more spectacularly than Ryan Reynolds’ Green Lantern.

And by being politically incorrect, I didn’t end up becoming racist, sexist, body-shamer, or prejudiced - on the contrary, I continually evolve into a Homo sapiens who is gradually less homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, race-conscious, never misogynistic or nationalistic & most importantly I don’t give a flying fuck what people call me.

And let me clarify, there’s a difference between calling a fucking fat person fucking fat who eats KFC buckets for Midnight snack & calling a person a fucking nigger. In the former, the person is bringing it on herself by being a glutton. In the latter, a person being belittled for the colour of her skin, which she didn’t choose, is outright fucked up. The same way, there’s a difference between calling an autistic person a ‘retard’ & calling a privileged person who got the best education & is  still stupid as fuck a ‘retard’

To make that ‘distinction’ we don’t need PC - what we need is - in Stephen Fry’s words - “basic human decency”

The deal is - this world is filled with assholes & they aren’t changing ever. In life’s long journey, you gonna meet asshole after asshole so your best option is to grow steel fucking balls. If you gonna constantly get offended at the slightest insult then you’re not going to make it. No fucking doubt about that.

Now, I’m almost forty & if I were to meet a teenager who allowed someone ‘smashed drunk’ drive & put his life at dire risk, I will be pissed as fuck and shout something similar to what the policeman yelled at me 18 years ago. 

You know what brings true change - compassion & dead honesty - not made-up vocabulary & make-believe empathy

Like religion, PC is continually censoring our words & actions. Freedom of Speech is a critical fundamental right, which is constantly compromised every time PC comes into play.

Now, I know tons of you who are sworn PC-enthusiasts would have rolled your eyes a million times reading this article. So I will end by saying this: 

For humans to respect other humans [& all living creatures], they don’t have to be politically correct; all they need is to have their heart in the right place. I can call someone ‘You motherfucking basterd’ and end that sentence with ‘I love you like I loved my first kiss.’ 

So, build a gorgeous heart even if you swear like a sailor, & you will make the world infinitely better than PC ever can.