-- Fucking Basterds --

Fuck – This is the one word that we’re always told not to use – It is uncivil – It is rude - so we’ve been brainwashed. Yet it continues to fall off our tongue persistently – perfunctorily – pathologically. Our – oddly includes those too who lecture against it – condemn it in broad daylight with their lungis tied up, tiger moustaches twisted like Billy Bowden’s crooked finger, in their bombastic empty rhetoric. Does that make us all hypocrites? – Never by admission – that would defeat the purpose – wouldn’t it?

We’re happy to say the 4-letter word when – we’re sad – bored – have committed the most heinous crime – found the coveted treasure – got nothing else to say – The god damn word is ubiquitous in our lives. Strangely - It doesn’t get any credit for its momentous contribution to the human race & fuelling the economy.

No! That was no typo – The word contributes to Economy & creates Employment. Brands like FCUK  – apparently the acronym breaks into - French Connection United Kingdom – Do these guys really think the common man is so stupid to buy this bullshit – the answer is abso-freaking-lutely - Yes {FCUK employs 3000+ people & mints revenues of over $400 million}. One of the best catch lines on their T-shirts was – Chalk my cue & I’ll pot your pink. Lascivious. If any of you don’t get it – it goes to show you’ve never been to a strip club, gone down on someone or vice versa & you’re hanging out with the wrong people^{{Chartered Accountants}} & never heard of Bhagwan Rajneesh a.k.a Osho a.k.a free love.

With all its achievements & contribution to the GDP - It doesn’t get a Nobel Prize nomination – It remains unrecognized by the Dictionary – Bible or History – It is a pariah

We pretend to be civil & avoid using it in an official rendezvous or when with someone we need to impress or show we’re blue blood. We don’t know this word – Sorry I do not know him – We’ve never met – Never heard of him. We use it when needed – We shitcan it otherwise. Are we Selfish Bastards? Now that is a fucking rude thing to say – Oops!

When we pretend to be someone else for too long – we become that person - Perhaps. The real us – what we truly are - die - a miserable death in between. The documentation of our birth gets tampered. Our lives are lived by cheap replicas pretending to be the real thing. To be ourselves is beyond acceptance for a society which thrives itself in make-believe pseudo personas & environment. You gotta say things which makes people like you – Tell them what they want to hear – And they will Love you. The world has set the Benchmark – Embrace it – or – Get Fucked –

Hey!! Hey!! That is brazenly disrespectful speech. Darn! The F word again.

On the other side of the outcast F word we have the celebrated - What. This is the word that is rated real high – the language will be crippled without it. The paradox is that it has no significance in real life. What is long dead. It lies in the morgue unidentified – its demise has gone un-noticed, as everyone is too busy trying to live their lives the way everyone else expects them to.

It is not about - What – it’s all about the other 5 W’s – Whom-Who-When-Where-Why

For instance – A poor waiter’s palm mistakenly brushes the protruding JLo buttocks of a hot {Read: Smoking Marijuana Hot} girl as he passes her on a crowded dance floor of a nightclub in a glitzy 5 star hotel in the Capital - New Delhi. The girl overreacts to garner attention - goes spastic – cries foul play – wants instant justice – she wouldn’t shut her pie hole till she gets sweet revenge – she wants to see blood. Then starts the Desi – Kill Bill Volume 3 - Everyone beats the shit out of him.

Had he touched that voluptuous ass late at night on a lonely Chandni Chowk road, the girl would have sped off scared for her safety. He wouldn’t have got a black eye, myriad bruises, ruptured nose & lifetime stigma of an – Ass Grabber. 

In the same vein, a filthy-rich man or a Film Star {Who} rapes {What} his maidservant {Whom} - in the privacy of his home {Where} - with no one else present {When}. Why he did it – not even he can answer that one – probably in that moment the animal in him popped out – the real him let loose.

She files a case – it gets thrown out of the window, which was deliberately left open for this act. Rapist lives happily ever after.

This is what money does to justice – swallows it alive

You’re whole-heartedly ushered into the world of Incredible India – Where the GDP grows at 10% year after year – 10% is also the separating line between girl & boy child ratio – Boy! Boy is winning & the credit goes to feticide – to be fair the credit goes to the motherly {murderly} instincts.

India - The next Big Thing – The place of million Gods – who cares if maids continue to get raped & innocent people get beaten to death. Equality & Freedom are fictional characters. Justice & God make cameo appearances in Bollywood films.

Is something deeply rotten in our society? What can we do to fix the rot?

Oh! Come’ on don’t be such a whiner - Grab a shot of Tequila & wash-down all your sins – Even better – try the fad of the town gol gappe vodka shots – detoxes dirty deeds like magic. Then wake up real early even if you’ve got the worst hangover & donate tons of money to a shrine – preferably – Sai Baba or Baba Ramdev – for a good measure.

Remember: Everything sells – if it doesn’t sell – it ain’t worth it.

Did India deserve Gandhi’s message of Non-violence & his Life of sheer transparency – Did the World deserve Hitler’s hatred filled heart & the holocaust that ensued. Was Osama Bin Laden a martyr or terrorist?

Do not try to answer these questions – Instead live with them – Marry them – Sleep with them – make babies with them. In the years to come – These questions will unfold like an Alfred Hitchcock suspense thriller – The outcome will stun you like a bullet going through your spine – Like you got shot in the back when you weren’t looking.

There will be an extraordinary revelation – It may even make you feel like the love child of Sherlock Holmes & Irene Adler.

These questions do not need an answer – They need Understanding. Sometimes answers are not that important – knowing why the questions happened in the first place is. Knowing why Hitler became what he did – why Gandhi gave that message through his life. Why Mr. Bin Laden believed he was fulfilling his duty to Islam by his version of Jihad. Why the biggest blockbusters movies are those, which tell us when the world will end. Why Hate is easy & Love is impossible.

Not all of us are smart to make that distinction – but whether you’re a dumbass or Einstein – At the end of the road – what really counts is not your stupidity or brilliance – the one thing that matters is courage. Courage is the Hero of our Film – our lives – everybody else is playing their part. But it is the Hero that gets us over the line. 

It is time to throw you into the oceanic lives of 4 ordinary but not normal people. If you can swim – you won’t drown – if you can’t – Well! You’ll have to trust them strangers to save you. Trusting strangers for your life – Trusting someone is so 19^th century & guess what they {British} did to us. The trust lane has an A3 size signpost – painted are - Skull & Bones – it reads – Turn Back - Danger Ahead.

What choice are you gonna make. Huh!