Hope

Of all the days, on 1st April - the fools day, I met someone for the first time & she totally killed me. That morning, I hadn’t the faintest clue that I will meet & spend the day with someone, who will make me believe in miracles, but it happened. Serendipity. 

That was 2005. 

In the 12 years that have rolled by, I’ve rarely met someone who totally smashed me & made me realize how bloody lucky I’m to born in the magnificent world. 

On 1st {another 1st} November 2017, I got real lucky. 

I woke leisurely as I didn’t have to go to work. I’m the weirdo who doesn’t go to work on Wednesdays. After gulping down tons of white herbal tea & reading the newspapers, I ran for 33 minutes then ate dried nuts, sunny-side up eggs & watched the comedy - Veep. Then it was time to go teach underprivileged kids in the slums of Majnu ka Tila {New Delhi}. This was my first day with an altruistic organization run by a bunch of gold-hearted youngsters. For the next two hours, I, along with others, taught the kids whatever I knew. When we got done, my throat was parched & heart enriched. Doing things without taking money is the ultimate form of beautiful happiness.

As I was walking off, a dainty, harry potter glasses girl [another volunteer teacher], made me an offer - ‘You wanna go to Ama Café?’
‘Alright’ I responded.
We bid goodbye to the rest & took a motor rickshaw to the cafe. It wasn’t easy to find & we had to cross a scary highway, on foot, to get there. It was a mild near-death experience.

At the café, I drank what I always drink - black coffee without sugar. She drank hazelnut latte, which didn’t have any hazelnut - not even the fake flavour. Her friends arrived about 47 minutes later, and we chatted for another 47-odd minutes before heading back. Her friends went their way & I stuck with her like a parasite for another hour & half. Then we said goodbye & went our way at 9.29pm after talking for about 3.75 hours.

Let’s go back to 5.50pm when she asked me if I wanted to come to Ama Café with her. All you readers know I’m almost difficult to look at & I ain’t getting any younger. This girl was both young & pretty - I don’t get asked for a coffee by these species when they don’t even know me. But, that’s not why I said yes {I’ve low opinion of pretty & rich people. Why? Because beauty & money makes humans shallow}. Anyway, I said yes because I liked her aura instantaneously - I like people who say what they feel without inhibitions. A person’s gender should never define them.

Whenever I’m in a public space with pretty girls - everyone seems to like me better. It creeps me. I mean anyone can be beautiful nowadays with a shimmering lip gloss, posh hairstyle, push up bra, short dress, mascara & kohl, nose ring and a sparkling smile on glittered cheeks. But, there are no embellishments for the heart. It’s just the way it is. But, who cares about heart - walk with a pretty girl & get treated better.

I’m mostly uncomfortable with homo sapiens. They creep me & a lot of times, I creep myself. She didn’t creep me. I think she was an ordinary human. And I wouldn’t have cared even if she were an extra-ordinary person. I don’t care much for superpowers & accomplishments. I like people who aren’t normal. She wasn’t normal.

I’m a writer & it’s easy for me to put my feelings on paper. Here, I realize I’m struggling like a kid in a pool who doesn’t know how to swim. Emotions are easy to explain, feelings are complex. I will try.

Like 1st April 2005, this 1 Nov 2017 was out of the world, not because I met someone who was a great achiever or genius {I hardly know her - she could be an ex-convict & a current baby-trafficking mogul}, it was out of the world because I met someone who was beautiful deep within {I know future revelations could show I’m totally wrong} - who was ordinary, but not normal.

How do I know that?

Normal people don’t ask an outright stranger to have coffee without batting an eyelid. Normal people think so much that the moment, the beauty of instinct, is lost before it’s born. Normal people don’t deliberately skip multiple trains & keep talking. Normal people don’t forget their station to get down. Normal people don’t sit outside their hostel, with someone they just met, till the moment the gates are about to shut for the night.

And this not normal human wasn’t broken. I don’t know her but I know she wasn’t broken. I know because I’m broken. 

In an ideal world, I hope I never speak with her or see her again because I know I will ruin it. That’s what I do, I ruin everything. The girl I met on 1st April 2005 - we fell in the deepest love. She kissed me bye on 4 July 2005 at the Tullamarine airport. I didn’t know that was the last time, I will see her. I hadn’t the slightest clue. This not normal girl, whom I’ve met once; whom I don’t love - love is too big a realm - is beautiful to me because she’s so real that it makes me shiver. In future, I may find she isn’t beautiful & that gives me shivers.

Everyday, I go around telling people how everyone is trash, selfish, and hopelessly practical, she showed me ‘she’ is also here.

I hope she finds her wings & flies with the birds. I hope she continues to spread happiness for no reason. I hope she remains not normal. I hope she never becomes what people expect her to be. I hope she transcends beyond right & wrong.

And I know, time will break her too - this is what time does to humans. But, I hope she doesn’t let life defeat her. I hope she gets up again & again after getting punched by life & smiles in her harry potter glasses & gives a big embrace to life & says - “It’s alright, I still love you, life. You’re the best thing to have happened to me & I’m gonna make the most of you.”

Amen.