Is Romantic Love Ever True Love

From the time we are born, we are fed milk & lies. Bottles of milk & Buckets of lies.

1. All humans are born equal [this punk philosopher never set foot in India - even identical twins born in the same family aren’t equal]

2. Respect & never hit a Woman [Why aren’t we taught not to hit another human - regardless of their gender]

3. Everyone has a talent [that’s why only one Indian {out of billions that have lived} has won an Olympic Gold ever in 121 years. And Michael Phelps alone has won 23 Golds.]

4. Child’s love is unconditional [If the mother stops feeding the baby, will the baby love her?]

5. There is God [He must be white, prude & misogynist]

6. Sex is bad [That’s why it feels so good and everyone is born out of it]

7. Someone is made for everyone. He/she is out there waiting to cross your path. [Contrarily, I’ve found that hardly anyone falls in love, but almost everyone falls into marriage.]

Everybody is too scared to be alone after a point in time. We consciously try to fall in love with someone awesome out there - as we get older, the ‘bar’ keeps falling faster than Harvey Weinstein’s stature in Hollywood. In sexually repressed countries like India, men stunningly confuse an erection with love & women frequently mistake their first kiss/make-out/sex for love.

Indian people think marriages are of two types only: Love or Arranged. Factually, there are at least eight categories.

1. Semi-Arranged

2. Fully-Arranged

3. NoOneEvenAskedMe

4. Out-of-Sexual-Desperation

5. Out-of-Financial-Desperation

6. He/She is the BestOption

7. I Don’t Want to Die Alone

And

8. If I don’t marry this person, I will die instantaneously [also known as Love Marriage built with True Romantic Love] 

The trouble with ‘True Romantic Love’ is it’s something that everyone wants - it’s even cooler than the Oscars, because you can’t have sex with the Oscars trophy. And even those ‘amazing people’ who can, they can’t make the trophy have an/multiple orgasm(s). Like Oscars, rarely anyone wins/finds true love.

7.7 billion people finding out the truth that true romantic love is ‘rare’ is godawful for the economy. If people realise that most sex is ‘just sex’ & not ‘making love’, they will stop going out to fancy places on dates, stop buying ridiculously expensive gifts, stop getting married & stop having kids. This will destroy the capitalist economy & lead to doom & gloom.

Though, most people get married without a trace of love, 99.7% of them find it impossible to ‘admit openly’ that there exists no real love between them & their life partner. After lying for centuries, now people have become delusional & say the magic words [I love you] to anyone they’ve been dating for longer than 100 hours. As Indians place physical intimacy on a pedestal & call it ‘sacred’, any sort of physical bonding is considered good enough to say the three words. Tons of people say their first ‘I love you’ while kissing/making out/having sex.  

With all this confusion, how do we really know what’s real love & what’s just everyone else is having. I can tell you my story & may be that will make you glance into your own heart & figure out if the person you’ve decided to spend your life with is true or fake as most of your facebook friends. 

At age 13, in boarding school, during the March Past practice, my hands repeatedly hit the girl’s hands in the row in front of me. She was hot & I believed it was our destiny that our hands clattered repeatedly. For the next two days, I was on cloud ninety-nine. Only to return crashing to earth when I met her boyfriend. He was 8.5 on 10 and I was 1.5 on 10. I gave up instantaneously - it was the ‘right thing to do’. Years later I realized our hands hit each other not because of destiny but because I was terrible at basic co-ordination.

At age 14, I received a Valentine’s greeting card from a girl from another boarding school. I could never find out who that girl was. All I know is that her name is/was Sana & in all likelihood, she had sent the card for another Gaurav, who was much hotter. 

At age 15, I had the hots the first girl who had the hots for me. She was holidaying at her grandma’s place in my neighbourhood while I was on holidays from my boarding school. But, the moment she wrote me a note - with her landphone number - I was too content to ever call her. 

At age 16, I fell in love with another girl in my class. She was a close friend & I believed we were meant to be with each other - except I never told her my feelings. I, in fact, altered my life plans & followed her to Australia after high school graduation. When I reached there, she already had a boyfriend. Yet again, he was much cooler than I was. I changed my degree from Hospitality to Accountancy and my city from Adelaide to Melbourne.

Till age 23, I didn’t fall in love again. And then I did. On the 90th day of our ‘relationship’ I asked her to marry me. And [I really don’t know what she was thinking] she said yes with tears rolling down her flushed cheeks.

We didn’t get married.

At 28, I fell in love again. And this relationship lasted almost three years - and then our time was up. 

Since then, I’ve not fallen in love & with each day & year, the chances of it happening are diminishing rapidly. 

I began using dating apps in 2015 & have met almost 100 girls on dates. I’ve liked about 10 of them & about 5 have liked me. But, I’m too old, too grumpy, too much of an asshole to make the girls feel like a princess. They all leave me sooner than monsoon disappears from Delhi.  

Now, I’ve 20-odd years of dating experience. And I’ve seen 70-odd shades of love. Do I know which one was true? 

Absolutely.

I fell in ‘true romantic love’ twice - with Rose and with Parul.

And it was ‘pure chance’ that Rose crossed my path & then even bigger miracle which made her fall in love with a 1.5 on 10 like me. She changed my life. And she changed it for the better. No matter how I look at it, it was a miracle. I, who was literally the most talent-dead person, have now written almost 3 novels, 106 articles, teach kids [not for money] & constantly try to help people I don’t know. By calling off our wedding a decade ago, she inadvertently altered the course of my life. It gave me a purpose. That’s why my heart knows ‘our’ love was/is real like storms & fireflies.

That was a quick peek into my skirmishes with love & somethings like love. You’ve have had your own journey, your own moments, your own stories. It’s alright if you didn’t find true romantic love. Most don’t. But, you’re still alive & you can ‘create’ love by coming alive. Put on your jeans & boots and go do something that makes you come alive. Because when you come alive, the world comes alive with you.