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Showing posts from 2018

Manchester Un-United - Ferguson to Mourinho to Hell

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Born in the early 80s in India, I was literally forced into loving Cricket.  But, I got away. It was a blessing in disguise that my full-time-working-&-full-time-bickering parents airlifted and dropped me across most of my school holidays at my maternal grandparents’ place. My grand-dad, a retired army-man, introduced me to sports beyond Cricket - Football, Hockey, Tennis & tons more. I got hooked to Tennis. By 1992, when Tendulkar was, by million miles, the most famous sportsperson/God in India, I was in awe of a female tennis player from Argentina. Gabriela Sabatini. Fast forward 10 years - 2002. I met a bloke [Gaurav Malik] when I moved into Howitt Hall in Monash University. He loved two things: Bashing Aussies & Manchester United. Courtesy big-ass projector rooms available for the students, I began watching football like I had always watched AFL {Aussie Football}, Tennis & Cricket. It took me a hell lot of time to comprehend the rules &

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I don’t know her soul; barely seen her eyes, merely glanced at her contours Met her thrice outdoors; always exchanged goodbyes beyond midnight’s four zeroes Once, in the hallowed Connaught, we walked a few miles after the sun had gone home I don’t know her like Joker knew Harley Quinn; she’s a friend of a friend And friends now are a lot like fleeting fashion trends, Who meet, drink, dance, click pictures & promise to meet again Then forget each other's shades by the month's end Her & I may part ways at life’s road’s next sharp curve  So, I ain’t gonna pretend to care or love I sit here with pen, paper & thoughts writing this poem with nothing nice to say For the girl whom I didn’t even wish on her nineteenth birthday For the girl with whom I haven’t performed the ritual of digits exchange For the girl famed for her resting bitch face For the girl who gets the shakes when I move in for embrace For the girl who’s one of the rarest h

If I had a Daughter

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I’ve been accused of everything that a man can be accused of. It’s a sweet miracle that I’m not in prison with serial murderers & international terrorists. But don’t be surprised if that happens in the next few years. All the accusations & possibility of long-term imprisonment don’t make me lose a second of sleep. And I hardly ever defend myself against the wicked allegations, but I’m writing this letter as one recent accusation from a human, with whom I’ve spent ocean loads of ‘real time’ in 2018, is more out-of-line than Trump is as the US President. The Allegation: “At times, I’m exactly like her parents.” True that I’m twice her age [I’m 37; she’s 19], & if some things had ‘fallen in place’ between a girl I was sorta dating when I was 17, I could’ve had a daughter her age. But, that’s where the comparison takes birth & dies. Her parents and I are as apart as Jews & Nazis, as Gandhi & Osama. Three days ago, her parents denied her permission to

Piano Man

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The past two weeks, I’ve been hypnotized by the diss tracks of the lad who wrote Stan On Tuesday, it was time for a change; to move from slim shady to The Piano Man After being blown away by rappers’ beef’s razzmatazz,  I was about to dive into soul-piercing blues & jazz In this alternate journey, I was to join three Gen-Z tech-slaves at 8.oh.Five But for these dolts arriving on time is a monstrous crime Their running late would usually get me all riled but I already had something bigger on my mind While on my way to the venue of live performance  I got a message about my former school that left me in distress I snapped out of it as I got outta Metro and climbed up the stairs Instead of waiting for the trio, I decided to walk the distance I met them morons at the venue’s threshold with customary hugs All three were out to impress in birthday Ts, pretty dresses & blue-green tresses The usual three stooges were now fab four Even I was cu

We Do not Die Once

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Like all you Insta wizards, I didn’t pick my country of birth I was born in a culture where we shot dead our dreams everyday before we hit the bed Where dreams are traded for the job with the fattest paycheck Where our balls are crushed if we're honest Where religion is deadlier drug than crystal meth Where we prefer to pretend; too scared to offend Where we bow to elders even when they’re wrong Where girls are strangled when they’re born Where degrees are preferred over dreams Where silence is preferred over screams Where love is for the beautiful queens we see on the silver screen Where people can’t curse the country Even when its patriots are the terrorists Who kill on suspicion of eating cow's meat Where people rape kids & never go to jail  Where people are slain for saying they are gay  My dad was a narcissist drunk My mum’s life had million troubles But her heart was tough as diamonds For decades, she worked from dawn to

Slut Shaming

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If I were to pick two of the most ridiculously dumbfuck inventions of the civilised society, I would pick: Selfies & Slut-shaming. Selfie is an ultra-modern millennial’s phenomenon - Slut-shaming, au-contraire, has survived millenniums. But it wasn’t before a bunch of geniuses created ‘God & Religion’ that slut-shaming became the rage it is today. Believe it or not, there was a time when men didn’t know that women are their exclusive property. There was a time when men didn’t treat women like their pretty underwear, which only they can wear whenever the hell they wanted to. Men thought of women as trees - they sat under their shade; they ate their fruit but didn’t feel dishonoured when someone else did too. There was a time when no one owned or tore down trees that gave us life. Those days were about 12 thousand years ago. This was when people weren’t aware of science & were yet to invent God. Men believed the entire clan was the father of the kid born