Tinder

I began dating when I was in 8th Grade [age 13] & the journey is still far from done 25 years later - I’m 38 now. 

The first 21 years [1994-2015] of dating were slow at their best. The last 4 years [2015-19] have been relatively lightning at their slowest.

Statistics of Girls Dated:

1994-2015: 7 [1 girl every three years}]

2015-19: 74 [18.5 girls per year]

Staggeringly, I’ve dated more girls in 5 months [8] than I dated in 21 years [7]. 

In the last 4 years, I’ve seen a 56 times rise in my dating frequency.

That’s not just ridiculously enormous, it’s also phenomenal for a lad with near-zero charm, zero physique, very limited money, very very limited looks, and utterly unsociable & outrageously rude attitude.

How the hell did this transformation happen?

Generally, in life, it’s difficult to find simple answers for major transformations. But my metamorphosis has a singular reason: Modern God — more popularly known as:

Tinder

It was a late summer night of 2015 when I chanced upon an article in the newspaper magazine: Brunch, about ‘online dating apps’ in India. I had recently bought a smartphone [finally letting go of my first love: Nokia]. 

I shortlisted two apps: Tinder & TrulyMadly.

Within an hour, I knew TrulyMadly was TrulyBad. I punched out right away. 

Tinder felt like a swipe-right-for-a-chance-to-fuck-a-stranger meat-market. I must have right-swiped like 30 pictures when I got my first match in this new world of dating. Intriguingly I ended up meeting this girl the next day. That was the beginning of swiping ‘right & left’ and meeting random humans.

Though I dated 7 girls in 21 years [1994-2015] & 74 girls in 4 years [2015-19], the difference between the amount of exclusive real-time [in person] I spent with the girls in those two timeframes [1994-2015 vs. 2015-19] is mind-boggling.

Before Tinder — Exclusive Real-time spent: 2700 hours [Total Dating Real* Duration: 5 years or 1825 days]: 1.5 hours Exclusive Real-time spent together per day

After Tinder — Exclusive Real-time spent: 355 hours [Total Dating Real* Duration: 2 years or 730 days]: 0.49 hours Exclusive Real-time spent together per day

Real*: The actual duration I was dating a girl in the two timeframes: 1994-2015 and 2015-19

The statistics showcase that I spent three times more time [1.5 hours vs. 0.49 hours] with each girl I dated Before Tinder. 

If you think this is a damning fact then wait for the next one - that will blow your socks, shoes & underpants off. 

I’ve been on 148 dates in total in the last 4 years & I’ve dated 74 girls in that timeframe. That shows I went on 2 dates on average with a girl. 

In the 21 years of offline dating, I went on 260 dates with 7 girls. That shows I went on 37 dates on average with a girl.

Dates per girl [Before Tinder]: 37

Dates per girl [After Tinder]: 2

That’s an 18.5 times [37 divided by 2] difference between Before Tinder & After Tinder dates per girl. 

In simple words [for the dimwits], it’s evident that anyone I meet online doesn’t hold my attention [and/or I don’t the girl’s attention]. 

Fact Attack: I’ve never been in a relationship with a girl I met online - not even close. In my life, I’ve had two genuine relationships. And those girls are still two of the three people [third is my BFF] I love & will love till I say goodbye to Earth. 

To be fair to life After Tinder, I’ve met some really interesting people [girls] via dating apps. Animal Rights Activists, Solid Single-Mothers, Harvard/IIM Graduates, BDSM-lovers, Entrepreneurs, et al

But I’m yet to meet a girl who is Absolutely Independent in ‘Thought & Action’ — even the ones who claim to be Feminist-For-Life & Grab-Life-By-the-Balls are not the real-deal — I’m yet to meet anyone who has the guts to truly challenge the established paradigm - I’m yet to meet anyone who was truly bohemian, truly evolved. Someone who has got a mind of her own & is not scared of standing her ground even if it hurts people she cares about - not scared of letting her loved ones down - not scared to take chances - not limiting her potential to flat abs, solid bank balance & a happy family.

I’ve not met someone who has the Crazy Vision of Elon Musk or the Chutzpah of Steve Jobs. I’ve also not met a girl, who will let go of all the luxuries & back-up plans & choose a life of Adventure into the Unknown to Explore Infinitely.  

I’m not saying there aren’t these women out there - All I’m saying, I haven’t met any. And that’s the hard truth.

Primarily, I was on Tinder [2015-18]. Now I’ve migrated to Bumble [2019].

Observation: Tinder/Bumble are like Scotch - they make you feel good, but if you’re on them for more than three days straight - without a break, you go nuts & lose your ability to operate with sanity.

Though without doubt, the dating sites are exhausting [& eventually make you despise the opposite sex], they’ve created a platform where two humans can meet within minutes of right swipes - the same humans who would never have met in a non-dating-app world. I love that aspect - It creates endless opportunities to find a friend - a connection & who knows - a life-long companion.

—-

Whenever I speak to anyone about their experience on the dating apps, almost everyone is unanimous in their opinion - it varies from ‘Terrible’ to ‘So-So’. Never have I ever come across anyone who said - “I love dating apps - I meet amazing girls/boys all the time.”

Girls primarily moan that almost all the lads are fuckboys, married/have GFs, creeps, muscle-factories, show-offs, commitment-phobic or broke/fugly. 

Boys primarily moan that they don’t get matches [Statistics show that boys on average get 1 match per 127 swipes {girls get 1 match every 2 swipes}], or get bad matches: fat/ugly or girls who don’t respond or are unwilling to meet or trying to get married after the first date or golddiggers.

Final Word: Tinder is Terrible [but it will get you laid]. Bumble is the Best in my experience. All other Apps are Crap

Full Disclosure: I did meet two awesome girls on Aisle - but that was an exception to the rule]

I’ll wrap by saying this to all the dumbfucks [girls & boys] who’re looking for love on dating apps: Get a fucking grip on your life, heart & mind. The chances of finding love on Tinder are smaller than finding an Olympics Gold Medalist in Pakistan. Fact: There are zero Olympic Gold Medalists in Pakistan. Ha!