Is Your Love 'True'
What about the love that doesn’t have decades of togetherness & wrinkles to boast of - what about the love that didn’t culminate in lifelong marriage with kids to leave behind - what about the love that lasted a year, a few months, a month, two & a half weeks, four & a quarter days, one day.
At times, people fall in love - a love that makes them shiver in blasting summers, a love that dazes them & makes them believe in miracles, a love that makes them feel things that even cocaine can’t, a love that destroys them & makes them come alive, a love that makes everything stop when they’re with their love, a love that makes them glow, flow, and float like the ducks, a love that makes them believe that they can do things that normal people think aren’t possible, a love that gives people hope in this miserable world, a love that makes people evolve & rise, a love that becomes the story of their lives, a love that gives them wings to fly. At times, that love flies away from their lives. Two humans depart each other’s lives even as they continue to reside on earth for decades after.
What about this ‘short love’. Shall we pronounce it fleeting, infatuation, half-love, something like love but not the ‘real thing’.
The trouble with the longevity rule is that it evaluates love’s authenticity on the same barometer that’s used for an electronic equipment. If you bought a toaster, which went bust within 9 days, you’d call it faulty; if the toaster lasted 9 years, you’d call it the ‘real thing’.
Definitely, at times, love is like scotch, it stays and keeps getting better as it ages. But, a lot more times, it’s like snow, it’s like perfume, it’s like hot coffee, it’s like fireworks, it’s like that beautiful dress, it’s like 100-meter sprint, it’s like summer rain, it’s like heart-attack, it’s like tree house, it’s like santa claus, it’s like prom dance, it’s like near-death experience, it’s like a friend we made when we were little, when we didn’t know right from wrong, when our hearts weren’t frozen by money, when our bodies didn’t operate by society’s remote, when we didn’t know how the real world works, when we were doing everything that felt right, even if that was stuffing our face with mud and sand. But that person goes away; we all grow up.
Love has its glorious moments, days, months, a year or more & then it leaves us. I often hear people say that the crucial element is - when we depart from the person we fell in love with, do they depart from our heart as well - if they do, it wasn’t real, if they stay in our heart, it was real. I reckon, like the longevity parameter, this barometer too is flawed. The thing about life & love is - nothing is scientific - the realm of romantic love is incredibly grey. At times, we quickly move on - that can be because we are great at moving on or we luckily find another amazing person to love. And four categories of people: rich, pretty, young, achievers - have infinitely more options to fall in love with than the ordinary flock of humans. At least, these people end up with people they feel like being with. The ordinary folks, which is the majority, take what they can get. Cut to the chase, what I’m saying is if we rate human beings on desirability - between 1 & 10, the higher the gap between you & your loved one is, the more you’re likely to miss them when they’re gone from your life. For the intellectually-wobbly & imaginatively switched-off readers, I will depict an example. You [3/10] & s/he [5/10] fell in love - later you part ways, you will miss her/him more than someone who was 2/10. And, once you’ve broken up with your loved one, the 'number & quality' of the options you’ve thereon will determine how much you miss the person you were in love with. So, just because you miss the person you were in love with, like hell, doesn’t mean your love was true as obesity in the United States.
Certainly, I’m generalizing, but you’d surprised how amazingly accurate this barometer is.
As there are multiple parameters & even the most complex algorithms have failed to decipher the mystery of true love and the widely accepted ‘longevity’ & ‘how much you miss them’ tests are deeply flawed, I will - with my questionable intelligence, patchy imagination, and weird experiences - write in words what real love to me is:
“No matter the length or ferocity of missing them - if your love breaks you down completely {or has the absolute ability to} and then re-builds you brick-by-brick, gives you the force to take on life with such fierce intensity & eternal fire that no amount of failures can convince you to abandon what you are set out to do. And more than anything else, it lets you rise above the trivial pursuits of making money and inspires you to break through the walls of family, religion, superiority, tradition, & pragmatism, and transcend into creating something original and become a human torch of hope. A person, who, when departs the earth, leaves imprints that make the new humans continue to believe in the magic that we often call true love.”
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