Bad Parenting

In Louisiana, you need license to sell flowers [fucking flowers]. In Tennessee, you need 300 hours [yes, 300-fucking-hours] of shampooing training before you can wash hair at a salon. And bloody Massachusetts requires fortune tellers to be licensed [how the fuck do you even license these turds] before they can take your money to predict your future. But any two horny half-wits can ‘make a baby’ whenever & wherever they feel like it. And most of the times, all they’re trying to do is ‘bang each other’s brains out’ & inadvertently end up placing a ‘baby-in-the-oven’.

StatAttack: Accidental Births in Percentages

1. US: 37%
2. India: 91%

All I’m saying is, if you were born in the US, you perhaps weren’t planned. And if you were born in India, you’re sure-shot an ‘accident’.

I was an accident.

Barring a few geniuses, most people who end up becoming parents don’t deserve to be parents. In this aspect of life, I’ve a firm grip on reality - I know I also don’t deserve to have kids & that’s why I don’t have any. If I had a kid, and she somehow magically survived her first three years, she will end up taking care of me for the rest of her living years. The worst part is, I’m dead serious.

If you pull sentimentality out of the equation & put rationality into the equation, then you will understand how giving birth should never be a ‘fundamental right’. It has to be an ‘earned right’.

How difficult is it to shampoo someone. And if you fuck up shampooing, what will happen. The customer will have to shampoo again. That’s all. And shampooing requires 300 hours of training & license.

Raising a kid for at least 18 years takes an epic proportion of courage & intellect. And it requires no license. And if you fuck up, what will happen? 

The worst case scenario: the kid may become a suicide bomber & give birth to more suicide bombers

The best case scenario: the kid may become super smart like Rahul Gandhi & become India’s PM in 2019. 

I know people [tons of them] who are incapable of making their bed or cooking a half fried egg & they’re raising a kid, two kids. I know [& constantly see] people who throw garbage on the streets with their kids in the car and ask them to do the same. Parents teach their kids to lie & bribe when it’s beneficial. Parents force their borrowed religion & draconian values on their offspring. They stop them from pursuing their true dreams in exchange for careers that will guarantee a steady job. They forget to teach their sons about consent & male-female equality. They forget to teach their daughters that it’s not alright to expect the husband to be the designated bread-winner.

They forget to teach their sons & daughters to never discriminate on gender, colour, sexual orientation, money, caste, religion, & disability. They forget to teach them about the evils of entitlement & privilege.

The primary reason India is a shithole of a country is because of free-for-all, godawful parenting. We take parenting as a joke. We somehow have this ridiculously dimwit belief that the kids will be raised regardless of our expertise. The premise for this ludicrous belief is that billions of kids have been born & raised in India without license already & they’re doing fine. No, they’re not doing fine. India is a fucked up failed state. Our per-capita income [$7,200 per annum] is one-fourth of fucking Greece [$27,800 per annum], who’re in so much shit that they’re labelled the gutter of western Europe.

When I’m insisting on license to be made mandatory, I’m endeavouring to ensure that the child is raised better & doesn’t die or become a half-wit citizen. I’m ensuring people like me & most of you diehard Instagram & Deadpool fans don’t end up ruining a child’s life.

And even if human rights zealots call me a cold-hearted ‘piece of shit’ for saying this, I will say it. In the third world countries like India, poor people shouldn’t have kids unless they’ve passed both the licensing & financial viability test. If we continue with the laissez-faire system & keep the status quo, poor people will keep birthing millions of kids who will continue to become life-long lowly-paid servants of the middle-upper-rich classes for their entire lives. As much as it’s not their fault that they’re poor, it’s definitely their fault if they give birth to more humans who will suffer like them for the rest of their lives.

When India is by far the top country in malnutrition deaths & child slavery, we can’t have unlicensed parenting. The current system is equivalent to having a dentist performing a heart surgery. But our inherent ‘stupidity and sentimentality’ have blinded us from this fatal flaw.

A rational two-part [theory and practical] test has to be in place before anyone decides to knock someone up or get knocked up [pregnant]. This test can be made available to anyone above 15. The test in a third world country must have a financial viability parameter as well. Also, I recognise that it’s near impossible [and impractical] to figure out who can be a great future parent. The test will primarily be to identify those who’re surely going to be terrible parents. For instance, a person with criminal history, drug/alcohol problem, reckless past, lack of exposure/independent thinking, etc.

Some of you might ‘roll eyes’ at me for propagating mandatory parenting license. Most people till the 80s thought cell phones & online shopping can never be a real thing. But, they’ve become the most addictive drugs for the human race.

Things take time to change - years, decades, centuries - but they always do. 

I hope to see that within the next 25 years - India sells Marijuana from vending machines, Live-in replaces marriage, Adopting replaces Birthing, Life Imprisonment or Plant 1000 trees for Cutting one Tree, Ridiculously high taxes [70%-95%] on the super rich, and child slavery & malnutrition deaths become extinct like the dinosaurs. 

And these quixotic dreams can come true if no one is born to a parent without a license.