The WORST résumé EVER is Mine ;)



About Me
Marital Status
There’s only one thing I’ve ever cared about. That thing is Truth. And time & again, without fail, it bites me in the ass. I don’t like getting bitten in the ass. Honesty makes me lose people, people I care about. I don’t like honesty. But I can never abandon it. It has stood by me when all else have chosen to fly away. I’m married to it - till death do us apart.
Ambition
I’ve no ambition to make money. I’ve tremendous ambition to make the hell out of the rare gift I’ve got. I better be god damn best at what I do. The day I’m not I’ll walk away.
Why I write
I’ve no country. I’ve no religion. I’ve no possession. I’ve nothing to prove. I write. I write because this is the only damn thing I’m good at.
My friends
I’ve about 7 friends, not one of whom will risk acknowledging me in public.
Me
Sometimes I can be really difficult – but usually I’m insufferable.
My belief
There are only two kinds of people in this weird world: Those who read; those who don’t.
Education
Thankfully, none.
Where do I see myself in 5 years?
If Alive: Jail/Rehab – If Dead: Hell {definitely}
God
I’ve an eerie feeling that “God really doesn’t give a shit”.
Death
Death reveals much more about us than life ever can.
How to reach me
If in a moment of bad judgment you choose to contact me, try your luck at 98104-93792. Either it’ll be switched off or no answer. FB/Twitter is no good either. Leave a message on email: flyingqantas@gmail.com. I know it is a stupid email address. It’s also your best bet. I’ll respond in illegible gibberish within 72 hours. If you don’t hear from me within 72 hours, call my mother. No, I’m not giving you her number.
Name {as printed on my expired Passport}
Gaurav Bist

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why are Indians Super Dumb?

Sherlyn Chopra -- Koffee with Karan

Is Oppenheimer Christopher Nolan’s Greatest Film?